he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
