and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
