I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
