dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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