Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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