Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize