Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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