Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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