the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
