Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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