Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
