My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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