just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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