i think i have herpe
just one?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
