my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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