Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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