I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
