Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
