Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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