I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
COCAINE IS GR8
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
