Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
