dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Still dying that you shit outside
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
