Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize