i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
