im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize