Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
