we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize