In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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