If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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