very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
