I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
