He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
