Umm I'm too high to move.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
