im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
