toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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