he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
