Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Randomize
