spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
