Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
