is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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