Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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