I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
