I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
