id be glad to
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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