Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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