Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize