as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I FOUND THE LEGS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
These tits shall not be calmed
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