His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
