You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My vagina is officially offended.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
