he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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