you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
