Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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