He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
