I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
