I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
