Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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