I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
