Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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