Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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